As some of you may know, I recently took the leap and moved to the great (so I hear) city of STL. A true Michigander at heart, I’m struggling to accept that I actually have to tell people I live in Missourah. I’m also beginning to realize why women pursue their MRS degrees in college, and not in an apartment complex in the middle of Missourah. It’s a rough life (sometimes). So to catch y’all up on my thrilling life, here are some SWF problems I’ve run into in the great land of Missourah:
1. 3 Flights of Stairs
My roommate and I live at the top of 3 flights of stairs. To give them their due credit, they do give us a prime excuse for not going to the gym every day. Climb those puppies 3-4 times a day at a brisk jog and you are allllll set. However, definitely could use a man to carry my groceries up the stairs. Or my oak nightstand I bought at Goodwill. Or my other furniture. You get the point.
2. Missourah Homeless
So far, two homeless people have hit on me and asked for my number. That’s funny, I say, I’m not sure how you can afford a monthly cell phone bill and yet…you’re homeless? One even went so far as to tell me that he understood I probably assumed he was a criminal psychopath, but that really he just liked meeting new people. In alley ways. In the dark. To butcher.
3. Assembling things
I recently bought some extra bathroom shelving. Of course, “light assembly” according to WalMart really meant “this package will make you cry and beg every ex boyfriend you ever had to come back and be your man just so you never have to assemble anything again.”
4. Missourah Stereotypes
Yes, I got stuck in line behind people who had to ask for the picture menu at McDonald’s because they couldn’t read. And yes, the man in line behind me was missing four teeth and hit on me. Stereotypes.
Anyways. I’ll try to be more dilligent about posting now that I’m (slightly) more settled in.