Bachelor Wk 4: Recap

When Sean thinks watching girls play roller derby will help him find a wife

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Bachelor Week 3: How did we get here?

So now that I’ve done my link-ups for the day, let’s talk about something that we all care about and that would all make us bond 20% faster than a blog link up (kidding but not)… The Bachelor. Week 3.

Here are my notes/questions/comments/concerns/WTF moments:

Let me get this straight. Sean is vocal about being a “born-again virgin”…but he’s ok with allowing millions of women to fantasize about him by making sure each episode opens with a montage of his shirtless muscles followed by a steamy shower? Really? Really?

Born-again virgin? Mmm…doubtful.

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This show ONLY works because everyone is CONSTANTLY DRUNK. If I took a shot every time there was a screen shot where someone WASN’T holding a drink, I would never take a shot, basically. Also, they’re always by a BEACH. Give me a constant supply of alcohol, a sexy man, and the beauty of a beach and of course I can fall in love in 9 weeks. Durrr.

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Why do these girls get all freaked out about group dates? Ladies, you have watched this show before. You KNOW group dates are part of the gig. Why are you surprised you’re going on one? Why add extra stress to your life by bitching about something you can’t change? Group dates have been here, are here, and will continue to be here all season long. Get over it.

Also…”this volleyball game is THE most important moment of my life?” Really? I’m going to play that clip back to you on your wedding day (which FYI, most likely will not come from this show), or when your first child is born, or when you get that next job promotion. And…how does watching 20 women play volleyball help Shawn pick his wife???

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Is it just me, or are the girls this episode INSANE? It’s week three and they’re already talking about how in love they are? And crying because they don’t get to spend more time with him? You’ve had how much interaction with him at this point…30 minutes…tops? You are not IN LOVE with him, he is not “EVERYTHING I’VE EVER DREAMED OF IN A HUSBAND.” How could you POSSIBLY tell if he is everything you ever dreamed of in a husband after 30 minutes?

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How much must it suck to have gone through years of schooling, only to be the producer who has to drive across the country and get a stupid dog for 45 seconds of camera time?

Also, remember, having one arm doesn’t prevent her from falling in love…though it is 90% of what she talks about.

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Here’s how I feel about Sean’s comment to Kacie B: “why are you even getting involved in these things?” I’m sorry Sean, but she LIVES with these crazy women 24/7. What would you like her to do? Sit in her bedroom, door locked, and solely think about you, your abs, and your potential relationship? Realistically, she’s going to get involved in drama because realistically, she’s not just there to sit and think about you every second of every day. Over it.

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Departure scenes: Please, women, stop crying hysterically. Again..you knew him for THREE WEEKS. The worst was when that woman starts bawling and takes Sean’s rejection as a personal commentary on her readiness for marriage. “I guess marriage just isn’t in the cards. I thought I was open to love, but maybe I need to reassess.” Babe, there is NOTHING wrong with you. You couldn’t find love in front of 26 other fighting women and 90 camera crewmen? You’re fine. Don’t take it personal.

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And finally…my biggest gripe with the last episode…AshLee. Dont’ get me wrong–love ‘er. Great gal. But it made my mouth drop open, eyes bulge, face burn when she told Sean her adoption story and then during her little off-camera monologue talks about how wonderful it felt that he “didn’t respond negatively and didn’t condemn her.” What? How can anyone respond negatively to you sharing that story? Or being adopted? What the hell.

P.S. Do you think any season of the Bachelor/Bachelorette has ever been subjected to a mid-season lip herpes break out? He just kissed like..20 girls in one week. That is some serious germ-spreading.