Dear crazy bitch who took my engagement ring

Dear crazy bitch who took my engagement ring:

 

Thanks for taking that piece of crazy off the market!

Love, Autumn

Dear ex:

When she’s walking down the aisle, try not to think about when you saw her cheating on you with another girl. In your bed. It’s not a threesome if you’re not invited–but keep in mind the threesome will probably be invited to your wedding. Specify you don’t want her on your honeymoon, too. Oh, and, thanks for taking that piece of crazy off the market!

No Love, Me

Dear Red Robin,

Thanks for hosting the worst engagement of all time. Was that the first time someone has sunk low enough to get engaged while eating a burger?

Autumn

Dear Sigma Chi:

For the first time, I can say I truly will miss you tonight. You were there for me when this ordeal ended, and you would be there for me now. I’ll miss your sweaty frat boy hugs, the overwhelming stench of sticky, spilled liquor, and the never ending party you would have thrown for me.

Love, Autumn

Dear Sigma Chi pledges:

I hope you learned to stop listening at closed doors. Though my conversations are pretty hilarious, I’ll give you that. Don’t worry, one day you’ll have enough drama to have closed doors too. That’s what happens when you go to a school of 1,000 people for four years. I hope you’re still making right-angle turns in the library and wearing the worst combination of bow ties and plaid shirts.

Love, Autumn

 

Dear Nashville:

Thanks for providing the perfect song to play while writing this post. Love, Me

 

Dear Daddy:

Thanks for putting it all in perspective by simply responding with “Someone sure was watching over you!”

 

Love, your daughter

 

 

 

 

Dear readers:

Don’t forget that I also have a Blogspot account, so if you like using Blogger Dashboard or Google Reader, you can follow me at http://www.theunreal-life.blogspot.com.

Love, Me

 

 

Meet mah best fryend

Do I have a treat for you, ladies and gents. Mah best fryend has joined the blogosphere (seeking a better form of procrastination that pinterest, facebook, etc) and today I am featuring the one, the only: Lauren, of LarushkaBabushka. Lauren and I met freshman year…we were neighbors. I think our fate as friends was sealed the first time she walked into my dorm room, picked up all my dirty dishes and said she was going to go wash them because she just couldn’t stand looking at them…from the other room. Or, when we decided to dress up as 1950s English sisters for Halloween and convinced a lovestruck puppy dog drunk frat boy that we actually were sisters. Throughout our four years, we raised some hell for our sorority house mom, took too many long drives to Starbucks (40 minutes away) and cemented our love through marathons of Paris Hilton’s BFF reality series. Ladies and gents, I give you the one…the only…Lauren:

1. If you were on The Bachelor/Bachelorette, what ridiculous date would you plan and how would you use this to decide whether the person was husband material? I would make them go skydiving. One reason is because I have always wanted to go. And a second reason, if he is too afraid to or needs to be talked into it, I know we’re not right. I like spontaneity and adventure and would really like my future husband to be crazy like me. Plus we would obvi pop open some champagne in celebration at the end, in true Bachelorette style.

2. If you were a Bond girl, what would be the tragic way you would die? First of all, If I were a Bond girl, I would be the most hardcore, kickass girl in the Bond girl history. I would want to die protecting the man I love (aka James Bond). So that he would always remember me, even when other, lesser Bond girls come into the picture. It would be an emotionally riveting scene that has even hardened men balling their eyes right in the cinema. The way I’m seeing it is me saving Bond’s life by taking a bullet that was intended for him. After James successfully kills my murderer, he holds me in his arms, trying to be strong for me but unable to keep a few tears from slipping down his checks, as he asks me why I did it. And then I would tell him I’d take a thousand bullets just to have spent the time we did together. And then he gets on that face that only Daniel Craig can when he’s been injured emotionally and goes on a killing spree, bringing every single bad guy to justice.

But in all seriousness, I am planning on being a Bond girl in the future, and I also plan on being the only one to not die.

3. What is the weirdest question a boy has ever asked you?

Is that a TI-89 Titanium you have?!

4. What is the best/worst thing that you ever won off a bet in college?

Best thing? Alcohol. Probs a pretty average answer for a college kid…

5. If you could only eat one meal from your college cafeteria for a year, what would it be?

SUNDAY BRUNCH. Favourite meal at Saga EVER. They have the best biscuits and gravy and always had these little seasoned potatoes that tasted like Arby’s curly fries….and now I’m starving….

6. What skill do you wish you had but currently don’t?

I’m going to be super realistic here, I wish I was better at focusing on what I need/want to do. I’m more of a “planner,” I just love dreaming about what I’m going to do, but the actual process of doing it sometimes takes me a while to get around to.

7. If you could jump into any TV show as a guest character, which show would it be and what would you do to change the plot as a character?

Even Stevens. I would want to be a girl that plays Shia Labeouf love-interest. And then when the show ends, we’d end up in a real relationship. Because he is so sexxxxy now.

8. Name one thing you just can’t understand. Like how Taylor Swift still gets boyfriends. Something mind-boggling and ultimately not worth your time to think of. 
How did Miley Cyrus land a Hemsworth??? I DON’T understand. Has he heard her talk?
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Go check out her blog to see MY answers to her AWESOME question. Like, would you rather wake up naked and soar next to Burger King being told “you had it your way” or next to McDonalds being told “you liked it like that.”
Also part of the Random Wednesdays linkup with Because Shanna Said So! Holla!

Get to know me!

Linking up with A Complete Waste of Makeup for Sunday Social! This week’s topic is a great chance to get to know some new bloggers!

This Weeks Questions: Lets Reintroduce ourselves shall we?

1. What is the name of your blog? How long have you been blogging? The Unreal Life. The name comes from my friend Ellen, who usually after every single time I tell her something going on in my life exhales a long, drawn-out “unrrrreal.” I have been blogging for 7 months.

2. Why do you blog? Honestly? I think I’m super entertaining. Also, I had NOTHING to do after graduating in May and needed a new hobby! I love writing and thought I’d try something new. I started the “sociol musings” category because I really missed my sociology classes at college and the chance it gave me to talk about interesting topics every week. Since I don’t have my wonderful classmates and professors anymore, I needed a new space to ramble about these sociological issues.

3. What is the first blog you ever followed? A Complete Waste of Makeup

4. What is your favorite post you wrote in 2012? My first post ever…The 5 Assholes You’ll Date in College. I think it’s the perfect introduction to my sassy side. But I also really like Monogamous Mono Man, Letter to a vet and any of my “sociol musings” posts.

5. What are your blogging goals for 2013? Grow the number of people who read my blog. Find a way to get to know other bloggers and increase viewing, without turning it into a day-by-day diary of my life. Post more regularly.

6. Top 3 favorite blogs to follow?

Gridiron Lipstick

Tales of My Fairytale

And then we saved

 

Thanks for getting to know me!

Sunday Social