Police, Hangovers and Trivia: weekend update style

So Friday night I attended my first ever TRIVIA NIGHT. Here in the STL, they are a big deal. A cultural staple, if you will. Like beer, baseball and Clydesdale horses. They are like a giant potluck/booze fest where people occasionally also answer trivia questions (to validate why they’re there drinking, boozing and eating). All of the money goes to different philanthropies–the one I was at was supporting building a library for a junior high that only accepts in-need students (of which there are many in STL). Anyways, bottom line–AWESOME event. However, after some Swedish fish vodka (of course I put Swedish fish IN the Swedish fish vodka) and a few turns from the good ol’ box’ o’ vino, I decided to visit the silent auction. Now kids, when I was growing up, my father would always visit silent auction tables and put his name down just to “up the ante” as he would say. He was convinced it would inspire other people to bid. Really, it was 50/50 whether this worked. I got sent to pick up some weird shit in my day–collages of wine corks, necklaces made of maps, handmade pottery. So of course, when I visited the silent auction table, my childhood upbringing came out and I bid on a few items just to “up the ante.” Buuuuut I put my date’s name down. And we lost. He ended up having to pay for a magazine subscription and a giant wine basket (so maybe ultimately we won). Worst date ever? You may say yes…but I say wait a minute…After that, we went to a bar with some friends and then went home where he promptly went to work taking care of me. Water, snacks, the works. Except when I decided I didn’t want the snacks anymore and would throw them half-eaten across the room only to scream “Wait! Don’t let it stain the carpet.” Worst date ever? That’d be me, folks. 


Saturday I stayed in bed. Obviously. I sent man-friend to go get some lunch and screamed “don’t forget the vegetable! We need a vegetable!” to which he promptly pinched my cheek and said “ohhhhh we got a vegetable right here.” Winner, winner chicken dinner. Then we watched Pitch Perfect for the first time…acaAMAZING. I died laughing. 


Sunday I was a domestically disabled diva and cooked all morning. And then celebrated my favorite holiday…Super Bowl Sunday. Fun fact: I watched the Super Bowl with an STL cop. During commercial breaks (because the commercials this year were shit, who’s with me?) he told us how he “Saw a cat in an alley. Hit him…you’re welcome” and how he uses crack rocks to bribe bums for information. He explained how this can be both positive and negative reinforcement (“I have three crack rocks and one question, how long will it take you to answer?”). Oh and he also told us about the time he broke up a domestic disturbance call…which occurred because a mom and son were having sex. Together. Then he promptly fell asleep for the rest of the game because obvi, he had a busy week. I also watched it with a Greek woman who had never seen the Super Bowl before and her deaf-in-one-ear boyfriend who kept shouting really loud. Eventually my friend and I just kind of sank back into the couch with our endless chip dips, wine and two cats. 


So that was my weekend. What was your weekend?


Linking up with Sami for Weekend update!


Super Bowl Sunday Funday

happy super bowl everyone!!! Let us both celebrate the chance to eat, drink, mingle and watch football as well as mourn the fact that this is the last day of football season.


In my Super Bowl spirit, I have made the following today: pot roast, Walnut Whiskey Blondies and Chili Cheese Dip. I am going to stuff my face. And cheer as loud as I can at the same time.

Whiskey Walnut blondies...coming right up!

Whiskey Walnut blondies…coming right up!

















I. Love. Football. In case you hadn’t noticed.

And of course even if you don’t like football, if you’re American you must love Super Bowl Sunday commercials. Here’s a recap of my favorite Super Bowl commercial ever.

“It’s the hottest fires that make a heart of steel…THAT’S WHO WE ARE. THAT’S OUR STORY.” Best advertising campaign ever. A commercial that didn’t just sell you something, but revitalized and energized an entire city and state. We are Detroit. We are Michigan.

And one day…we’ll be in the Super Bowl and Eminem will be our halftime show. Just kidding.


Have a wonderful Super Bowl Sunday!!!

Meet mah best fryend

Do I have a treat for you, ladies and gents. Mah best fryend has joined the blogosphere (seeking a better form of procrastination that pinterest, facebook, etc) and today I am featuring the one, the only: Lauren, of LarushkaBabushka. Lauren and I met freshman year…we were neighbors. I think our fate as friends was sealed the first time she walked into my dorm room, picked up all my dirty dishes and said she was going to go wash them because she just couldn’t stand looking at them…from the other room. Or, when we decided to dress up as 1950s English sisters for Halloween and convinced a lovestruck puppy dog drunk frat boy that we actually were sisters. Throughout our four years, we raised some hell for our sorority house mom, took too many long drives to Starbucks (40 minutes away) and cemented our love through marathons of Paris Hilton’s BFF reality series. Ladies and gents, I give you the one…the only…Lauren:

1. If you were on The Bachelor/Bachelorette, what ridiculous date would you plan and how would you use this to decide whether the person was husband material? I would make them go skydiving. One reason is because I have always wanted to go. And a second reason, if he is too afraid to or needs to be talked into it, I know we’re not right. I like spontaneity and adventure and would really like my future husband to be crazy like me. Plus we would obvi pop open some champagne in celebration at the end, in true Bachelorette style.

2. If you were a Bond girl, what would be the tragic way you would die? First of all, If I were a Bond girl, I would be the most hardcore, kickass girl in the Bond girl history. I would want to die protecting the man I love (aka James Bond). So that he would always remember me, even when other, lesser Bond girls come into the picture. It would be an emotionally riveting scene that has even hardened men balling their eyes right in the cinema. The way I’m seeing it is me saving Bond’s life by taking a bullet that was intended for him. After James successfully kills my murderer, he holds me in his arms, trying to be strong for me but unable to keep a few tears from slipping down his checks, as he asks me why I did it. And then I would tell him I’d take a thousand bullets just to have spent the time we did together. And then he gets on that face that only Daniel Craig can when he’s been injured emotionally and goes on a killing spree, bringing every single bad guy to justice.

But in all seriousness, I am planning on being a Bond girl in the future, and I also plan on being the only one to not die.

3. What is the weirdest question a boy has ever asked you?

Is that a TI-89 Titanium you have?!

4. What is the best/worst thing that you ever won off a bet in college?

Best thing? Alcohol. Probs a pretty average answer for a college kid…

5. If you could only eat one meal from your college cafeteria for a year, what would it be?

SUNDAY BRUNCH. Favourite meal at Saga EVER. They have the best biscuits and gravy and always had these little seasoned potatoes that tasted like Arby’s curly fries….and now I’m starving….

6. What skill do you wish you had but currently don’t?

I’m going to be super realistic here, I wish I was better at focusing on what I need/want to do. I’m more of a “planner,” I just love dreaming about what I’m going to do, but the actual process of doing it sometimes takes me a while to get around to.

7. If you could jump into any TV show as a guest character, which show would it be and what would you do to change the plot as a character?

Even Stevens. I would want to be a girl that plays Shia Labeouf love-interest. And then when the show ends, we’d end up in a real relationship. Because he is so sexxxxy now.

8. Name one thing you just can’t understand. Like how Taylor Swift still gets boyfriends. Something mind-boggling and ultimately not worth your time to think of. 
How did Miley Cyrus land a Hemsworth??? I DON’T understand. Has he heard her talk?
Go check out her blog to see MY answers to her AWESOME question. Like, would you rather wake up naked and soar next to Burger King being told “you had it your way” or next to McDonalds being told “you liked it like that.”
Also part of the Random Wednesdays linkup with Because Shanna Said So! Holla!