Domestically Dentally Disabled

I had to go to the dentist yesterday. And I cried like a small child. So much so, that they brought a second hygenist in just to whisper words of encouragement. She told me that “going to the dentist is hard, but I was doing a really good job.” Which of course just made me cry harder. Yes, ladies and gentleman, that’s right. I have a phobia of the dentist. To give you a picture of just how legitimate this was, they offered to help me find a dentist who practices full sedation so I could be knocked out while they work on my teeth.

 

Fortunately for me, dental disability is not my only fine, fine characteristic. I am also domestically disabled. If you don’t believe me, check out these texts I found from my weekend adventure trying to cook Whiskey Walnut Blondies for the Super Bowl:

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Meet mah best fryend

Do I have a treat for you, ladies and gents. Mah best fryend has joined the blogosphere (seeking a better form of procrastination that pinterest, facebook, etc) and today I am featuring the one, the only: Lauren, of LarushkaBabushka. Lauren and I met freshman year…we were neighbors. I think our fate as friends was sealed the first time she walked into my dorm room, picked up all my dirty dishes and said she was going to go wash them because she just couldn’t stand looking at them…from the other room. Or, when we decided to dress up as 1950s English sisters for Halloween and convinced a lovestruck puppy dog drunk frat boy that we actually were sisters. Throughout our four years, we raised some hell for our sorority house mom, took too many long drives to Starbucks (40 minutes away) and cemented our love through marathons of Paris Hilton’s BFF reality series. Ladies and gents, I give you the one…the only…Lauren:

1. If you were on The Bachelor/Bachelorette, what ridiculous date would you plan and how would you use this to decide whether the person was husband material? I would make them go skydiving. One reason is because I have always wanted to go. And a second reason, if he is too afraid to or needs to be talked into it, I know we’re not right. I like spontaneity and adventure and would really like my future husband to be crazy like me. Plus we would obvi pop open some champagne in celebration at the end, in true Bachelorette style.

2. If you were a Bond girl, what would be the tragic way you would die? First of all, If I were a Bond girl, I would be the most hardcore, kickass girl in the Bond girl history. I would want to die protecting the man I love (aka James Bond). So that he would always remember me, even when other, lesser Bond girls come into the picture. It would be an emotionally riveting scene that has even hardened men balling their eyes right in the cinema. The way I’m seeing it is me saving Bond’s life by taking a bullet that was intended for him. After James successfully kills my murderer, he holds me in his arms, trying to be strong for me but unable to keep a few tears from slipping down his checks, as he asks me why I did it. And then I would tell him I’d take a thousand bullets just to have spent the time we did together. And then he gets on that face that only Daniel Craig can when he’s been injured emotionally and goes on a killing spree, bringing every single bad guy to justice.

But in all seriousness, I am planning on being a Bond girl in the future, and I also plan on being the only one to not die.

3. What is the weirdest question a boy has ever asked you?

Is that a TI-89 Titanium you have?!

4. What is the best/worst thing that you ever won off a bet in college?

Best thing? Alcohol. Probs a pretty average answer for a college kid…

5. If you could only eat one meal from your college cafeteria for a year, what would it be?

SUNDAY BRUNCH. Favourite meal at Saga EVER. They have the best biscuits and gravy and always had these little seasoned potatoes that tasted like Arby’s curly fries….and now I’m starving….

6. What skill do you wish you had but currently don’t?

I’m going to be super realistic here, I wish I was better at focusing on what I need/want to do. I’m more of a “planner,” I just love dreaming about what I’m going to do, but the actual process of doing it sometimes takes me a while to get around to.

7. If you could jump into any TV show as a guest character, which show would it be and what would you do to change the plot as a character?

Even Stevens. I would want to be a girl that plays Shia Labeouf love-interest. And then when the show ends, we’d end up in a real relationship. Because he is so sexxxxy now.

8. Name one thing you just can’t understand. Like how Taylor Swift still gets boyfriends. Something mind-boggling and ultimately not worth your time to think of. 
How did Miley Cyrus land a Hemsworth??? I DON’T understand. Has he heard her talk?
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Go check out her blog to see MY answers to her AWESOME question. Like, would you rather wake up naked and soar next to Burger King being told “you had it your way” or next to McDonalds being told “you liked it like that.”
Also part of the Random Wednesdays linkup with Because Shanna Said So! Holla!

Overcome the Lies

Today I’m linking up with the women of the Overwrite the Lies project–a week-long social media campaign to help combat the young lies women listen to in their heads, so they might hear the truth written in their heart.

 

When I was in high school, girls went through a phase of calling each other a lot of negative words ‘playfully’ disguised as nicknames. Slut. Whore. Bitch. Anyone who has been a girl knows what I’m talking about. Girls try to say it as a joke or a passive-agressive commentary, but it still stings. It’s not true. It’s a lie, but it gets in your head. And your heart.

 

Especially mine. When I was in sixth grade, I learned that I was what I like to affectionately call a doorstep baby. My birthmom had left me on my dad’s doorstep without so much as a see you later. I grew up in a loving home with devoted parents and four beautiful sisters. I was never treated any differently than any of them, and the circumstances of my birth were never dwelled on. But in high school, doubt, fear and evil crept into my mind. I started to wonder. What was the role of my birthmom in my life? Did I inherit anything from her? Would parts of my life be out of my control, simply because they were her genes? The names girls threw around carelessly in highschool–slut, whore, bitch, tease–they were all things I had once heard said of my birthmom. Was I destined to turn out like her–a bitch?

 

Through the grace of God, it was at this time that my junior english class was reading John Steinbeck’s East of Eden. The story works its way through two brother’s internal struggle after they learn their mother is a prostitute. One fears that much like the Old Testament says in stories of generations of offspring being cursed due to one ancestor’s sin against God, he is condemned to be a sinner like his mother. The other finds his answer in the grace of Jesus and one word: timshel. This is the original word in the Bible, located in Genesis, that gives the first sign of the most defining characteristic of our relationship with God in comparison to other deities: free will. I’ve posted a short clip of the passage below:

 

Samuel said, “[…]Why is this word so important?”

Lee’s hand shook as he filled the delicate cups. He drank his down in one gulp. “Don’t you see?” he cried. “The American Standard translation orders men to triumph over sin, and you can call sin ignorance. The King James translation makes a promise in ‘Thou shalt,’ meaning that men will surely triumph over sin. But the Hebrew word, the word timshel—‘Thou mayest’— that gives a choice. It might be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open. That throws it right back on a man. For if ‘Thou mayest’—it is also true that ‘Thou mayest not.’ Don’t you see?

“Yes, I see. I do see. But you do not believe this is divine law. Why do you feel its importance?”

“Ah!” said Lee. “I’ve wanted to tell you this for a long time. I even anticipated your questions and I am well prepared. Any writing which has influenced the thinking and the lives of innumerable people is important. Now, there are many millions in their sects and churches who feel the order, ‘Do thou,’ and throw their weight into obedience. And there are millions more who feel predestination in ‘Thou shalt.’ Nothing they may do can interfere with what will be. But ‘Thou mayest’! Why, that makes a man great, that gives him stature with the gods, for in his weakness and his filth and his murder of his brother he has still the great choice. He can choose his course and fight it through and win.”

(For a longer snippet of the novel, please click here).

And in those paragraphs, in the words of the Lord, I found the truth over the lies. Because our God loves us, trusts us, and wants the best for us: He has given us free will. The choice is ours. Jesus died to break the rules of the Old Testament and continue this free will. We can be great, or we can fall. But we are not predestined to either one.

 

The beauty of the Lord is this: He doesn’t just take your sins away. He takes whatever shame, sin and ugliness you may have in your past and turns it into something beautiful–something for His glory. I never in a million years would have thought I would have once been a camp counselor using the story of my birthmom for His glory, or blogging about it to strangers on the internet. But that’s what the love and forgiveness of Christ can do. I no longer feel trapped, scared, hopeless, helpless, abandoned or ashamed. Because I have found the truth.

 

So, since this week is focusing on overwriting the lies we hear, let me wrap up with this:

I am my mother. 

I am my father.

My path is set. 

Once I’ve fallen, count me down.

The choice is yours: timshel.