Dear crazy bitch who took my engagement ring

Dear crazy bitch who took my engagement ring:

 

Thanks for taking that piece of crazy off the market!

Love, Autumn

Dear ex:

When she’s walking down the aisle, try not to think about when you saw her cheating on you with another girl. In your bed. It’s not a threesome if you’re not invited–but keep in mind the threesome will probably be invited to your wedding. Specify you don’t want her on your honeymoon, too. Oh, and, thanks for taking that piece of crazy off the market!

No Love, Me

Dear Red Robin,

Thanks for hosting the worst engagement of all time. Was that the first time someone has sunk low enough to get engaged while eating a burger?

Autumn

Dear Sigma Chi:

For the first time, I can say I truly will miss you tonight. You were there for me when this ordeal ended, and you would be there for me now. I’ll miss your sweaty frat boy hugs, the overwhelming stench of sticky, spilled liquor, and the never ending party you would have thrown for me.

Love, Autumn

Dear Sigma Chi pledges:

I hope you learned to stop listening at closed doors. Though my conversations are pretty hilarious, I’ll give you that. Don’t worry, one day you’ll have enough drama to have closed doors too. That’s what happens when you go to a school of 1,000 people for four years. I hope you’re still making right-angle turns in the library and wearing the worst combination of bow ties and plaid shirts.

Love, Autumn

 

Dear Nashville:

Thanks for providing the perfect song to play while writing this post. Love, Me

 

Dear Daddy:

Thanks for putting it all in perspective by simply responding with “Someone sure was watching over you!”

 

Love, your daughter

 

 

 

 

Dear readers:

Don’t forget that I also have a Blogspot account, so if you like using Blogger Dashboard or Google Reader, you can follow me at http://www.theunreal-life.blogspot.com.

Love, Me

 

 

Overcome the Lies

Today I’m linking up with the women of the Overwrite the Lies project–a week-long social media campaign to help combat the young lies women listen to in their heads, so they might hear the truth written in their heart.

 

When I was in high school, girls went through a phase of calling each other a lot of negative words ‘playfully’ disguised as nicknames. Slut. Whore. Bitch. Anyone who has been a girl knows what I’m talking about. Girls try to say it as a joke or a passive-agressive commentary, but it still stings. It’s not true. It’s a lie, but it gets in your head. And your heart.

 

Especially mine. When I was in sixth grade, I learned that I was what I like to affectionately call a doorstep baby. My birthmom had left me on my dad’s doorstep without so much as a see you later. I grew up in a loving home with devoted parents and four beautiful sisters. I was never treated any differently than any of them, and the circumstances of my birth were never dwelled on. But in high school, doubt, fear and evil crept into my mind. I started to wonder. What was the role of my birthmom in my life? Did I inherit anything from her? Would parts of my life be out of my control, simply because they were her genes? The names girls threw around carelessly in highschool–slut, whore, bitch, tease–they were all things I had once heard said of my birthmom. Was I destined to turn out like her–a bitch?

 

Through the grace of God, it was at this time that my junior english class was reading John Steinbeck’s East of Eden. The story works its way through two brother’s internal struggle after they learn their mother is a prostitute. One fears that much like the Old Testament says in stories of generations of offspring being cursed due to one ancestor’s sin against God, he is condemned to be a sinner like his mother. The other finds his answer in the grace of Jesus and one word: timshel. This is the original word in the Bible, located in Genesis, that gives the first sign of the most defining characteristic of our relationship with God in comparison to other deities: free will. I’ve posted a short clip of the passage below:

 

Samuel said, “[…]Why is this word so important?”

Lee’s hand shook as he filled the delicate cups. He drank his down in one gulp. “Don’t you see?” he cried. “The American Standard translation orders men to triumph over sin, and you can call sin ignorance. The King James translation makes a promise in ‘Thou shalt,’ meaning that men will surely triumph over sin. But the Hebrew word, the word timshel—‘Thou mayest’— that gives a choice. It might be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open. That throws it right back on a man. For if ‘Thou mayest’—it is also true that ‘Thou mayest not.’ Don’t you see?

“Yes, I see. I do see. But you do not believe this is divine law. Why do you feel its importance?”

“Ah!” said Lee. “I’ve wanted to tell you this for a long time. I even anticipated your questions and I am well prepared. Any writing which has influenced the thinking and the lives of innumerable people is important. Now, there are many millions in their sects and churches who feel the order, ‘Do thou,’ and throw their weight into obedience. And there are millions more who feel predestination in ‘Thou shalt.’ Nothing they may do can interfere with what will be. But ‘Thou mayest’! Why, that makes a man great, that gives him stature with the gods, for in his weakness and his filth and his murder of his brother he has still the great choice. He can choose his course and fight it through and win.”

(For a longer snippet of the novel, please click here).

And in those paragraphs, in the words of the Lord, I found the truth over the lies. Because our God loves us, trusts us, and wants the best for us: He has given us free will. The choice is ours. Jesus died to break the rules of the Old Testament and continue this free will. We can be great, or we can fall. But we are not predestined to either one.

 

The beauty of the Lord is this: He doesn’t just take your sins away. He takes whatever shame, sin and ugliness you may have in your past and turns it into something beautiful–something for His glory. I never in a million years would have thought I would have once been a camp counselor using the story of my birthmom for His glory, or blogging about it to strangers on the internet. But that’s what the love and forgiveness of Christ can do. I no longer feel trapped, scared, hopeless, helpless, abandoned or ashamed. Because I have found the truth.

 

So, since this week is focusing on overwriting the lies we hear, let me wrap up with this:

I am my mother. 

I am my father.

My path is set. 

Once I’ve fallen, count me down.

The choice is yours: timshel.

Change Your Mind: It’s Ok

Video

 

…miss college for all the interesting, intellectual articles you used to get to read. And for the fun school supplies you used to use to get through those long papers.

…want to do 80 different things with your life.

…to have subsisted on only tomato soup, spinach and cold/flu medicine for the past week.

…to feel like a kid again when you work from home.

…to laugh at yourself when the mechanic tells you that it wasn’t actually the Check Engine light, it was just the tire air pressure warning.

…that this song has been on repeat for three hours and puts things into words better than I could.

Linking up with A complete waste of makeup for It’s Ok Thursdays…