Domestically Dentally Disabled

I had to go to the dentist yesterday. And I cried like a small child. So much so, that they brought a second hygenist in just to whisper words of encouragement. She told me that “going to the dentist is hard, but I was doing a really good job.” Which of course just made me cry harder. Yes, ladies and gentleman, that’s right. I have a phobia of the dentist. To give you a picture of just how legitimate this was, they offered to help me find a dentist who practices full sedation so I could be knocked out while they work on my teeth.

 

Fortunately for me, dental disability is not my only fine, fine characteristic. I am also domestically disabled. If you don’t believe me, check out these texts I found from my weekend adventure trying to cook Whiskey Walnut Blondies for the Super Bowl:

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The Eternal Search For The Spherical Cookie: The Beginning

Autumn: Our writing journey first began in 8th grade with a crantakerous english teacher who reminded us of an angry leprauchan. He would throw everything we wrote out while screaming “plan your work and work your plan!” A key part of this successful plan-work-work-plan was proper organization. And that’s really where you could say this whole thing started. In the middle of the semester, Cadey was in desperate need of help organizing her binder. Like her current mother-in-law who she now teases, she was showing the beginning signs of hoarding (I take credit for saving her from that darkness). She was in need of organization, and I was in need of a home-cooked meal (Cadey: keep in mind that to Autumn a sit down dinner with candles was macaroni and cheese from the box and her oft stated favorite dinner is microwave roast beef – we will let you decide who needed to be saved more!). So we swapped. Cadey, AKA Betty Crocker, was shocked and appaled by my total lack of cooking skill.

Cadey: Autumn is what we would call domestically disabled. The first time we ever got together to make Christmas cookies my little sister (4 at the time) had to oversee her because she had started to pack the flour like you would brown sugar. Eventually she began to improve and over the years has progresed from merely rolling out the sugar cookies to making whole batches of them by herself (I am so proud!). And now we are both required to have cookie baking supervision because of the Christmas 2011 debacle in which we overindulged and made about 8 batches of cookies … That brings us to this past Christmas (2012). When making plans for our cookie baking extravaganza Autumn asked, nonchalantly, if I had ever heard of or knew how to make sphericle cookies.

Autumn: This idea came to me suddenly. How satisfying would it be to eat a spherical cookie? No, not a cake pop, not a brownie pop. I wanted a “pop” with the consistency of a cookie. But more importantly, I wanted to take those spherical cookies and stack them on top of eachother to make SNOWMEN. SPHERICAL COOKIE SNOWMEN. Bam. Culinary achievement.

Cadey: This was before cake pops became the most pinned desert for graduation/showers/anniversary/birthday parties and before the inention of cake pop electric bakers …. that is not what we are looking for. We want a cookie, not a cake. Thus began my search for a spherical cookie recipe and continued with a really awful tasting mexican wedding cake cookie (I blame my mother and her almonds of suspicious and inderminate age). Although the mexican wedding cookies did not satisfy we came to the realization that the search for the ultimate spherical cookie is more than just looking for the perfect recipe…

Autumn:…it’s the search for enlightenment. It’s the ultimate culmination of a culinary feat. It’s the discovery of uncharted territory, the joy of the journey, and sweet, perfect, joy of eating a spherical cookie. That moment when you bite into a dessert so perfect that the world falls away and you wonder how anything else can compare. Enlightenment. And thus began our journey. We would search for the spherical cookie, and along the way, we would blog about our culinary mishaps in the kitchen and their relevance to current political affairs with biting wit and sarcasm.

Disclaimer: As two young intellectuals with a passion for bull shit, somewhat disillisioned by life, and commited to saving the world on a budget we want you to know that this blog is purely our sarcastic ramblings and does not relflect the beliefs, ideologies, mantras, and doctrines we hold … well not all of them.

Attached: Recipe for Cream Cheese Cutouts, our original Christmas Cookie RecipeImage